Superfan

My beloved Coke Zero cans have been hijacked by Avatar! This stupid logo makes it appear as though I'm consuming a hyper sugary energy drink, when I'm really drinking a sugary soda. Avatar is everywhere, but I have zero desire to see this movie. I seem to be in the minority if you pay attention to the box office... or to my fellow employees.

I recently had to attend a silly "leadership" type of class. One of the many ridiculous activities involved dividing the class into pairs and assigning each group a particular management concept. Our task was to come up with a way to visualize this concept that would help the class remember it. (Yes, this was a colossal waste of time). My group's concept was "share thoughts, rationale and feelings."

Me (wanting to get this over with): What if we picture someone laying on a psychiatrist's couch sharing his feelings?
Her: What about the Wizard of Oz?
Me: What about it?
Her: What did the tin man want?
Me: Um, a heart.
Her: Maybe I'm thinking of the scarecrow.
Me: He wanted a brain. But what about picturing someone on a psychiatrist's couch?
Her: Or maybe something related to Avatar. Have you seen that yet?
Me: No.
Her: Would you believe my husband went without me the first time? I swear... I'm raising an 8-year-old, and 9-year-old AND a 40-year-old.

It went on like this for approximately 5 minutes. She referenced Avatar no less than 4 times, none of which had anything to do with "sharing thoughts, rationale and feelings." In the end, we settled on a mental image of kindergartners sitting around a show-and-tell circle. I still think the psychiatrist's couch would have worked just fine.

Later in the class, the instructor asked for a volunteer to share an example of a bad day. The point, I think, was to show that people have personal problems that can potentially interfere with work and you need to find a way to separate those parts of your life. (This is high level stuff we're learning, people.) My Avatar partner raised her hand and rattled off the following (hopefully hypothetical) BAD day:

• "Your cat is pregnant by the dog. Your husband is in bed with a man. The refrigerator is broke. Your dad is a transvestite. And your kid was killed in a car accident."

Yipes. Think about that the next time you're tempted to complain about your life.

I wish you all a GOOD day, dear readers!