BUT this initially seemed to have worked out in my favor. I was outside sweeping my stoop when a man approached me - the new occupant of #5! He is a good (enough) looking, personable, single young lawyer. The wheels started turning. (JT's response when I relayed the details of this meeting: "He doesn't even know he's about to be victimized.")
However, I was self-conscious about the broom in my hand during our conversation. It's unnatural. Stoop sweeping? That's an activity performed by old ladies in housecoats. Then I thought back to a suicide-free Thanksgiving... I baked a pumpkin pie in 2007. The staged photos were so wholesome and domestic that I considered starting a match.com profile. I would attract a husband who wanted an apron-clad housewife... and then I would tell him to bake his own damn pie. Perhaps the broom could be another weapon in Cupid's tool belt.
But back to the point... thanks to the vehicles of this quattlebaum of a lawyer and his moving crew (MOM!), there was only one parking spot available in our tiny "lot" on Saturday night. I backed into the tight spot next to the wall without incident, which is a miracle in itself. Getting out on Sunday afternoon? Not so lucky. I maneuvered myself into such a position that my only options were to: 1) back up and rip off my side mirror; or 2) continue forward and scrape the entire back half of the car.
Sophie chose #2. This is my car... my 2-month-old car... the only new car I've ever owned. The scratches are obvious, but the denting doesn't photograph well. Repair estimates are pending. Good thing I have a G sittin'.
This brings me back to the pole incident of 1996/1997? Minus the yellow and the Old Navy shopping afterwards.
ReplyDeleteThe baking picture, of course, makes me think of Mother's Day circa ninteen hundred ninety one. Who knows.. had that picture been taken with a wide angle lens, perhaps we would see a diapered baby shoveling powdered sugar into its mouth.
ReplyDeletedo the hokey pokey, and turn yourself around. But Simon didn't say, or did he?! THAT'S what it's all about.
ReplyDelete-Pat
I think the photo shoot for that pie was longer and more elaborate than the actual baking. At least I was around for it and not out buying expired cake mix like during the mother's day fiasco Pat referenced.
ReplyDeleteCorrection Pat: it was brown sugar that was being shoveled into the baby's mouth.
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine now, your husband reading the story of how you just met, and you thought he was good (enough) looking!
ReplyDeleteYour housewife photo reminds me of the famous sweeper running picture you sent to me. You should definitely include that picture in the match.com profile too. You can then tell the attracted husband to clean his own damn house.
ReplyDelete