Monday, February 22, 2010
Chuck Tacos
Does anyone else find this stupid Taco Bell ad as annoying as I do? It started with a SuperBowl commercial, and I've been hearing it on the radio everyday since. AGH! I consider myself a Charles Barkley fan, but the sound of this "rap" makes my skin crawl.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Paging Dr. Quattlebaum
We got some legitimate snow down yonder this weekend, and it is wreaking havoc on the genitalia of South Carolinians.
I've repeatedly heard and overheard the story of a woman who took a spill on an icy street and is now - in her own words - hobbling around with a bruised rectal and vaginal area. WOAH, back up. Did I hear that right? Wait, don't back up. I don't want to hear it again. I am not down with OPP.
But she keeps talking... broken capillaries, broken skin, pain while sitting, pain while walking. She doesn't have children so has never experienced an episiotomy but imagines this is a similar situation. HOLY MOSES. I can't think of a more perfect example of TMI (way, way TMI). Please, please... for the love of Marilyn... hush your mouth.
Of course, this begs the question... what could she possibly have been doing when she fell? Practicing a balance beam routine??? I'm equally horrified and perplexed.
I'm not the only one with visualization problems. Due to the awkward anatomical location of the injuries, she is having a hard time assessing the full extent of the damage. Hand mirror, anyone? But for a professional medical opinion, this sounds like a case for Dr. Quattlebaum. Stat!
Cecil P. Quattlebaum is an elderly white-haired local OB/GYN who uses the expression "poot" (which seems to be a substitute for "shucks"). Think about this for a minute and try not to giggle like a 7th grader. I've never met the man, but Cecil P. has provided me with hours of amusement. "Quattlebaum" is well on its way to becoming the hot new word of 2010. It functions as all parts of speech.
Spread the word, dear readers! The word is quattlebaum! In other words, spread the quattlebaum :)
I've repeatedly heard and overheard the story of a woman who took a spill on an icy street and is now - in her own words - hobbling around with a bruised rectal and vaginal area. WOAH, back up. Did I hear that right? Wait, don't back up. I don't want to hear it again. I am not down with OPP.
But she keeps talking... broken capillaries, broken skin, pain while sitting, pain while walking. She doesn't have children so has never experienced an episiotomy but imagines this is a similar situation. HOLY MOSES. I can't think of a more perfect example of TMI (way, way TMI). Please, please... for the love of Marilyn... hush your mouth.
Of course, this begs the question... what could she possibly have been doing when she fell? Practicing a balance beam routine??? I'm equally horrified and perplexed.
I'm not the only one with visualization problems. Due to the awkward anatomical location of the injuries, she is having a hard time assessing the full extent of the damage. Hand mirror, anyone? But for a professional medical opinion, this sounds like a case for Dr. Quattlebaum. Stat!
Cecil P. Quattlebaum is an elderly white-haired local OB/GYN who uses the expression "poot" (which seems to be a substitute for "shucks"). Think about this for a minute and try not to giggle like a 7th grader. I've never met the man, but Cecil P. has provided me with hours of amusement. "Quattlebaum" is well on its way to becoming the hot new word of 2010. It functions as all parts of speech.
- Noun - I need to get my quattlebaum checked after that nasty fall on the ice.
- Verb - I'm totally quattlebaumed (or QB'd) from that nasty fall on the ice.
- Exclamation - Quattlebaum! I took a nasty fall on the ice.
Spread the word, dear readers! The word is quattlebaum! In other words, spread the quattlebaum :)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Grocery List
I HATE that I have not been keeping up with this blog as frequently as I would like. Please don't hold it against me, dear readers. I'm not only neglecting you... I'm neglecting myself.
Exhibit A: The contents of my refrigerator on day 7 in my new apartment. For the record, that's 4 cans of Miller Lite, 1 bottle of Bass, and 3 bottles of dusty champagne I stumbled across in the basement. (I can't even take credit for the baking soda.)
Exhibit A: The contents of my refrigerator on day 7 in my new apartment. For the record, that's 4 cans of Miller Lite, 1 bottle of Bass, and 3 bottles of dusty champagne I stumbled across in the basement. (I can't even take credit for the baking soda.)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Facebook Near and Far
The New Zealand Herald recently published this article about "Facebook at work problems." In typical NZ journalism fashion, the article provides no useful information. A social media expert provides the following insightful commentary: "I sort of liken it to when phones were first introduced into businesses, there must have been the same kind of anxieties with that." (I can just imagine it... Oh my goodness, now I can pick up this device and call my co-worker to be in instant communication. The convenience is bringing on a panic attack.)
My company has blocked access to facebook, but where there's a will, there's a way. During office hours, I simply use my blackberry instead of the computer for my social networking needs. In your face, job!! I can't be expected to work all the time.
Interestingly enough, the company's "young professionals" association uses a facebook page as its main method of communication.... even though no one can see it until they get home. Anyway, this puts me in a real pickle. I am interested in this association because they host different social events and it might be a good opportunity to meet new people who aren't ridiculous and aren't 30 years older than me. BUT, for obvious reasons, I can't have my facebook page connected to anything work-related. What to do? What to do?
My company has blocked access to facebook, but where there's a will, there's a way. During office hours, I simply use my blackberry instead of the computer for my social networking needs. In your face, job!! I can't be expected to work all the time.
Interestingly enough, the company's "young professionals" association uses a facebook page as its main method of communication.... even though no one can see it until they get home. Anyway, this puts me in a real pickle. I am interested in this association because they host different social events and it might be a good opportunity to meet new people who aren't ridiculous and aren't 30 years older than me. BUT, for obvious reasons, I can't have my facebook page connected to anything work-related. What to do? What to do?
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