She Always Had Some of that Marilyn Spirit...

Grocery List

I HATE that I have not been keeping up with this blog as frequently as I would like. Please don't hold it against me, dear readers. I'm not only neglecting you... I'm neglecting myself.

Exhibit A: The contents of my refrigerator on day 7 in my new apartment. For the record, that's 4 cans of Miller Lite, 1 bottle of Bass, and 3 bottles of dusty champagne I stumbled across in the basement. (I can't even take credit for the baking soda.)

Facebook Near and Far

The New Zealand Herald recently published this article about "Facebook at work problems." In typical NZ journalism fashion, the article provides no useful information. A social media expert provides the following insightful commentary: "I sort of liken it to when phones were first introduced into businesses, there must have been the same kind of anxieties with that." (I can just imagine it... Oh my goodness, now I can pick up this device and call my co-worker to be in instant communication. The convenience is bringing on a panic attack.)

My company has blocked access to facebook, but where there's a will, there's a way. During office hours, I simply use my blackberry instead of the computer for my social networking needs. In your face, job!! I can't be expected to work all the time.

Interestingly enough, the company's "young professionals" association uses a facebook page as its main method of communication.... even though no one can see it until they get home. Anyway, this puts me in a real pickle. I am interested in this association because they host different social events and it might be a good opportunity to meet new people who aren't ridiculous and aren't 30 years older than me. BUT, for obvious reasons, I can't have my facebook page connected to anything work-related. What to do? What to do?

No Love Lost

Twas the Friday before Valentine's Day and there was a bag of chocolate sitting on the doorknob of every office in the suite BUT MINE.

Bite me, Cupid. I would prefer a bag of Skittles over your Hershey Kisses anyway.

M & M & M's

We're all acquainted with Marilyn by now, and I've come to appreciate my new pal. She's my scapegoat and my confidante. But two identities are enough! I can cope with a split personality, but a multiple personality disorder would present too many scheduling difficulties.

1) A co-worker recently called me Melissa for the second time.

2) A co-worked attempted to introduce me as follows: "Do you know each other?" The woman replied: "Yes, we've met. How have you been, Meredith?"

3) My new landlord attempted to write my contact information on a post-it note. She said, "I know how to spell your name." I watched her print M... A... (so far, so good)... then..D... E... She wrote Madeline. (Note: That was at least the 3rd time I gave the woman my phone number. She sent me an email on Monday saying "I don't have your phone number. Please call me ASAP.")

Hey y'all, that's not my name.

36 Hours in Philly

Oh my gosh, where does the time go? Sometimes life gets in the way of my blogging. I'll try not to let it happen again.

I recently had bachelorette parties 2 Saturdays in a row, and wow, those tend to turn into all-weekend affairs one way or another. The latest party involved a trip to the City of Brotherly Love, where I got to catch up with 2 things I haven't seen in a long time:

1) My very best friends! I missed them! It seems like wedding-related events are the only times we get together as a group anymore.

2) Snow. I did not miss it! It was nice and pretty to see for one day, but I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with that stuff anymore. I came back with salt-stained shoes. Yuck.

I booked my flight to Philadelphia over a month in advance, but somehow failed to realize until the day of departure that my return flight on Sunday was at 9AM. I had thought it was 9PM... and I spoke in detail to many people about why I booked 9pm. "Sure, it sucks to get home that late at night, but my only other option is 9am and Marilyn doesn't stand a chance of catching that plane after a night of partying." I am a moron.

At approximately 3:30am on Saturday night/Sunday morning, my friends and I made a group decision that I would pack my suitcase and sleep in my clothes. The plan was to get 3.5 hours of sleep, get out of bed, slip on my boots and slip out the door. When the cell phone alarm clock struck 7am, I woke up to find a voicemail waiting for me. In what can only be described as a case of divine intervention, US Air had called to notify me that my flight was delayed by 192 minutes. Hallelujah! I was so happy that I woke up my friends to share the good news. They didn't appreciate that. I climbed back under the covers, got 3 more glorious hours of sleep and was back on South Carolina soil by 2pm. Couldn't have planned it better!

Marilyn's friends greeted her at the airport with this awesome sign.

We frolicked in the snow.

We forgot to buy mixers so I spent about $40 on little juice bottles at Dunkin Donuts. That was a financially irresponsible Marilyn decision.

I bought a "large" soda in the Philly airport and was immediately ashamed of myself. Isn't this gross?? The lid compartment could hold a small soda on its own. No wonder this city has an obesity problem.

Superfan

My beloved Coke Zero cans have been hijacked by Avatar! This stupid logo makes it appear as though I'm consuming a hyper sugary energy drink, when I'm really drinking a sugary soda. Avatar is everywhere, but I have zero desire to see this movie. I seem to be in the minority if you pay attention to the box office... or to my fellow employees.

I recently had to attend a silly "leadership" type of class. One of the many ridiculous activities involved dividing the class into pairs and assigning each group a particular management concept. Our task was to come up with a way to visualize this concept that would help the class remember it. (Yes, this was a colossal waste of time). My group's concept was "share thoughts, rationale and feelings."

Me (wanting to get this over with): What if we picture someone laying on a psychiatrist's couch sharing his feelings?
Her: What about the Wizard of Oz?
Me: What about it?
Her: What did the tin man want?
Me: Um, a heart.
Her: Maybe I'm thinking of the scarecrow.
Me: He wanted a brain. But what about picturing someone on a psychiatrist's couch?
Her: Or maybe something related to Avatar. Have you seen that yet?
Me: No.
Her: Would you believe my husband went without me the first time? I swear... I'm raising an 8-year-old, and 9-year-old AND a 40-year-old.

It went on like this for approximately 5 minutes. She referenced Avatar no less than 4 times, none of which had anything to do with "sharing thoughts, rationale and feelings." In the end, we settled on a mental image of kindergartners sitting around a show-and-tell circle. I still think the psychiatrist's couch would have worked just fine.

Later in the class, the instructor asked for a volunteer to share an example of a bad day. The point, I think, was to show that people have personal problems that can potentially interfere with work and you need to find a way to separate those parts of your life. (This is high level stuff we're learning, people.) My Avatar partner raised her hand and rattled off the following (hopefully hypothetical) BAD day:

• "Your cat is pregnant by the dog. Your husband is in bed with a man. The refrigerator is broke. Your dad is a transvestite. And your kid was killed in a car accident."

Yipes. Think about that the next time you're tempted to complain about your life.

I wish you all a GOOD day, dear readers!